A Mother’s Story

Hi all. I am going to try and write about my feelings and experiences every few days or so. So much happens each and every day that just makes me so proud to be Calla’s mother. Some of you might notice the time of this posting. After I pumped at 11:30 I could not fall back asleep, I kept thinking about how I was at the Corvallis hospital and then in an ambulance this time last week and two weeks ago Scott and I were in Ohio at a baby shower. What a wild ride. I thought I would take the time to do some writing and then hopefully fall soundly asleep.
A few comments from the staff here today include:
“None of us can believe that she was really only 30 weeks when she was born, she is doing great.”
“She looks really strong.”
“She is a fighter.”

I thought I would write a little about the first few days after she was born. Right after she was born I got to hold her for about a minute and then she and Scott left with the NICU staff to get evaluated. In the NICU she was put on many machines and IV’s. One of the tubes went through her umbilical cord. This is a very sensitive area and we were unable to hold her while it was in place. On Wed. am we were told it would come out because she as doing so well, but it would still be the afternoon until we could hold her. Around 1:30 while my mom and Scott were doing some errands a nurse from the NICU came down and told me she was awake and ready to be held. So on Wed. afternoon I held my daughter for the first time and cried as she opened up her eyes and looked at me. The nurses were so wonderful, they had a box of tissues and a camera ready so that the moment was captured. Scott arrived shortly and was there for this wonderful moment.

On Thursday I was discharged from the hospital, this was both a good thing and an emotionally draining experience. Peace Health Hospital has a very busy labor and delivery floor and as a result my recovery room was shared with another couple that had twins in the NICU. This makes for very little sleep and privacy during a stressful time. (They are opening a new hospital in August with all private rooms, we were just a little early). So I was very ready for some privacy and some sleep, but was not ready to leave the hospital without my little girl. All these feelings were increased by seeing family after family safely place their children in their car seats and head out the door. When the time came to leave and move the 2 blocks to the Guest House I cried all the way to the NICU and stood over her incubator and just let the tears flow. Scott and the nurses just held me and let me cry and reassured me that I would not be leaving my daughter for long. I made it through this moment, but learned early that there will be many emotional highs and lows through this experience. The highlight of this day was traveling only 2 blocks to the Lions Club Guest House where we were given our own room with a private bathroom and told “make yourself at home, this is your home now for as long as you need it.” What reassuring words when they were so needed.

Daily Scott and I are getting more comfortable around all the tubes and bells and whistles that surround our daughter. We are now pros at changing diapers through openings in the incubator, can check her body temperature and get her in and out of the incubator with ease. All of these things are thanks to the help and encouragement of the wonderful nurses here. They want us to feel comfortable around our daughter and we cannot thank them enough for their kind words of encouragement and help each and every day.

I think that is enough for now and that I am ready to fall asleep. Thank you all as always for all your kind thoughts and prayers for Scott, Calla, and myself.